15. July 2015 · Comments Off on Random Food Picture of The Day – Cloud Toast · Categories: Random Food Picture of the Day, Random Picture of the Day · Tags: , , , ,

It’s my blog and I can post ridiculously silly things if I want to.  And I do.  I really do.

Cloud Toast RW

– Joanna

Please enjoy a guest post by The Father-in-Law . . . and as always interspersed with random pictures by moi.  – Joanna

I seem to have a little free time so here comes some more fun facts and friends.  I won’t take credit (or blame) for all of them but want to share these pearls of wisdom with you.

B & W father and son pic

FUN FACT – When George Washington was asked to show some ID he just whipped out a quarter.

I have a friend who hasn’t spoken to his wife in years, he doesn’t want to interrupt her.  Since he’s been married he doesn’t date much.  He used to date a girl with a lazy eye but broke up with her because she was seeing someone on the side.

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Wash your Hands

So maybe I made up the number in the title, but I do have pet peeves and I have a lot of them.  So many I’ve often thought of replacing my Twitter Bio with “I snark therefore I am.”  Would that be off putting?  I often wonder if my snark actually holds people at arms length sometimes.  I mean if you get too close I may just make fun of the smell of your deodorant (honey, we’ll chat about that later mmmmmm K?)

So one of my pet peeves is hand washing.  Especially with a toddler in the house I wash my hands a lot.  Before I eat, before I make dinner, after I eat, after I make dinner, after using the restroom . . . you get the point right?  Wash your hands people.  It’s just common sense.

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Let’s just settle this once and for all.

The Husband and I have been disagreeing for YEARS over this silk painting.

So I ask you . . . are the manatees humping?

Manatees 1

– Joanna

*Please enjoy a HILARIOUS guest post from the Father-in-Law.  Seriously, I think it may be his best post yet.  For his other works of genius, please check out the Man Cave page.*

Midwestern-Bite-Father-In-Law-Map-RW

I know, my spellcheck didn’t like the title either but this is about garage saleing, not boat sailing.  Besides, they now make motors for boats (and bikes too), so that wind and human powered stuff is old hat.  Speaking of old hats, I know just where you can get them.  Joanna has alluded to my penchant for a good garage (or tag, yard, porch) sale.  It’s true that I have been to my share, but only because people give me a list of items they want and it’s the retiree equivalent of a scavenger hunt.

DSC_0700 enh RW

Let me share some knowledge I’ve gained over the years – and introduce you to some characters I’ve met along the way.  I’ve discovered that there are four types of garage sales.

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You should all know by now that I like to poke fun at things. Kale chips. Stacking cookies. My in-laws. The Snoops’ haircuts. Baby hats. Myself. Pinterest. My in-laws again. People that hate the word moist. The phrase “I digress”. I could go on, but you’re all faithful readers so you already know this.

I promise in real life I’m not that judgmental . . . just hilarious. My mom still thinks so anyway.

In honor of how crazy funny I find myself, I’d like to list a few things that currently annoy me.

1) Sadie Fur: You probably know our Chocolate Lab, Sadie, as The Destroyer. Whatever her name is, she sheds. A lot. How many of you out there claim to be a dog lover? Yes, lots? Me too. Now, how many of you claim to be a dog fur lover? Anybody? Anybody? That’s what I thought. Dog fur sucks and it sucks big time. We call Sadie The Destroyer because she destroys things. She destroys things because she is anxious and I swear anxious dogs shed twice as much as non anxious dogs. I brush her every day and vacuum every day and my house is full of the same amount of fur as it was the day before. But it’s not just the house, it’s the yard. When you brush her outside it rolls around and gets stuck in the deck slats, the potted plants, the fence, the vegetable garden. Sometimes we vacuum her just to contain the mess but that’s a two person job and the Pete hasn’t exactly volunteered to help. So, yeah, Sadie fur annoys me. Annoys me so much it’s on my Arch Nemesis List. But, I segue, that’s a post for another day. Dear Sadie: STOP SHEDDING!

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What is wrong with the word moist?

Time and time again. Over and over again I read food bloggers complain about the word moist. So I ask you, what is wrong with the word moist?

 

Let’s review the definition of the word moist:

  • slightly or moderately wet
  • tearful
  • characterized by high humidity

 

Allrighty then. So I made some muffins the other day and called them moist.

Which they were. They were slightly wet and just a little tearful as I almost cried when they were all gone ’cause I was also out of almond flour and unable to make more. (Note to self: order almond flour.) The high humidity part doesn’t fit, but whatever. Recess can mean a break from class or a hole in the wall, but we all still liked playing four square just the same.

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27. April 2012 · 1 comment · Categories: Humor · Tags: , ,

I would like to preface by explaining I am writing this post at the risk of sounding ungrateful. Which I’m not. It’s just gonna sound that way. So, cut me an inch of slack and bear with me for a bit. Okay? Okay.

When we found out we were having a little Sweetey Petey, our family and friends were amazing; little Pete was so loved before he was even born. Thoughtful gestures abounded! We had several home repairs in the works that needed completed before Pete was born and our time became limited. This included an entire basement spruce, as well as new flooring in the kitchen and dining room. My mom painted our finished basement. A close friend spent two days helping the Husband lay Pergo down there. Co-workers lent tools. My Father-in-law found us a contractor when ours flaked out and drove from hours away to replace baseboards and help install the floors in the kitchen to save time.

A friend picked up the crib for us in his truck because it wouldn’t fit in our car. Another friend helped carry the crib upstairs. His wife lent me maternity clothes and books and baby slings. They brought us food when the Pete was born.

There were gifts, thoughtful presents from close and far. My sister sent all her gently used baby gear as well as three years of clothes. We had two generous showers to help with the necessities. Many of these gifts were handmade with love!! To list just a few:

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I made the Husband Stuffed Stuffed Peppers the other day.

No, I didn’t stutter stutter. Well, there I did. Why do I call them Stuffed Stuffed Peppers you ask? Of course there is a story about that, and of course it involves my in-laws.

Visiting home we always get a call from my Father-in-law when we are a half hour away asking what local craving he can pick up for us. Pizza from the Husband’s favorite joint is dinner the first night 99% of the time. Snacks are provided and always include bananas, English muffins, homemade strawberry jelly, BBQ beef, lunch meat, cheese and the F-I-L makes a wicked garlicky salad. Jobs and commitments make our visits home fairly short, so there is rarely time for many home cooked meals. For YEARS all I heard about were the famous Stuffed Peppers my Mother-in-law makes. All the family gave rave reviews!  The Husband and I were easily married for at least three years before I ever had them. The anticipation had mounted. One fateful visit she finally promised to make the Stuffed Peppers; they were to be ready and waiting upon our arrival!!

The kitchen smelled amazing when we walked in! Hugs were had all around, the luggage was hauled in, and the dogs were fed and settled. We sat down for a home cooked meal after our long car ride.

I looked to the plate set before me and LAUGHED.

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If you missed Part 1 of The Worst Food Blogger Ever click here.  If you caught it, but want to read it again to keep the flow going, click back there too.  If you didn’t catch it and don’t want to, but still what to know what the deal is anyway, here it is: I made bad brownies.  I fed said brownies to the Husband.  I hid said brownies in the oven.  I forgot about them and accidentally cooked them again.  And now you are all caught up.  It got worse…

At this point, I really should have just learned my lesson and chucked the brownies.

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