Day 4 of the January Blog A Day Challenge hosted by Katrina and Lindsey is Pet Peeves. I was born for this challenge. I could do this challenge in my sleep. In fact I could probably wiggle my nose or blink my eyes and this post would just magically appear on my blog.
Mostly because I kinda already wrote this post last summer when I published Things That Annoy Me . . . Today Anyway. But rather than cop out I will use this opportunity to pen Part II. I mean, there are always new things annoying me.
1) Low Fuel Warnings: When the little one arrived in our lives I swapped my car with The Husband’s and now drive his newer sedan. It’s fancy. Heated seats. Temperature readings. Power windows. (Yes, compared to my old car, power windows are fancy. So are power locks. And a heater that does anything other than defrost the windshield.) It also has this fancy warning that blinks at me when I am low on fuel. In theory, this is great. It gives me fair warning that I only have so many miles left to badger The Husband into putting gas in the car for me. The thing that annoys me is that it’s very inconsistent. I’ll be driving down the road at a steady speed and the car will tell me I have 56 miles before I run out of gas. A half mile later it will tell me I only have 50 miles left. Another half mile still cruising at the same ol’ granny speed and now I suddenly have 60 miles left to bribe The Husband. Add all that to the fact I probably have a good four gallons of gas in the car when it finally tells me I have none. Four. What the what?? Dear fancy schmancy car: MAKE UP YOUR MIND ALREADY!
2) No Fuel Warnings: Speaking of my old car, it has a broken fuel gauge. It actually broke the very day I met the Husband. I hopped in the car to take The Snoops to the park and the needle started going nuts till it finally settled on Empty. And there it has stayed. I met The Husband about an hour later while we were both walking our dogs. I like to look at the spastic fuel gauge as a positive sign from the automobile universe that a force to be reckoned with was headed my way. A force called loooooove. So I kinda like the fact my fuel gauge is broken. What I don’t like is that every flipping time the car goes to the shop (it’s old so that’s a bit) for maintenance the mechanics rush the car to the gas station and somehow a fuel charge ends up on my bill. And I’m pretty sure they round up. Way up. It’s gotten to the point that I have to leave a post-it on the dash. You may be wondering why I care so much when I bribe The Husband to gas up the cars anyway. That’s an excellent question. It’s the principle of the thing. Dear mechanics: STOP FILLING THE TANK! THAT’S THE HUSBAND’S JOB!
3) Crop, er Car Circles: According to Wikipedia, “the scientific consensus is that crop circles are predominantly man-made with perhaps some due to meteorological and other natural effects.” I apply this same logic to my car circles. I didn’t make the car circles and I am fairly certain Sweetey Petey didn’t since he only sits in the back seat. The Husband never even cleans the windows so he’s out. That only leaves “meteorological and other natural effects.” Inside the fancy schmancy car. Creepy. Dear car: IF YOU ARE SMART ENOUGH TO WARN ME YOU NEED GAS, WHY CAN’T YOU WARN ME THERE’S FREAKING WEATHER FORMING INSIDE MY CAR!
Just in case you need some help.
And because this is a food satire blog (that’s a thing right?) . . .
4) Crappy Produce: There is not much that drives me battier than crappy produce at the grocery. Squash like that should not be out for sale. Seriously, who is going to buy it anyway? It just makes the grocery look bad. Dear grocery: TAKE THE HIT, TOSS THE SQUASH AND GROW A PAIR. Preferably a pair without brown spots.
To catch up on my January Blog a Day posts:
Tomorrow is BIGGEST Fear. Hmmmm . . . how well do we know each other?
Question of the Day: What’s annoying you today?