You have no idea how I struggled to find a witty title for this post.  Possibilities included:

You’re My One Eyed Snoops

Cyclops Pooch

Mono Flower

If You’re Going to San Francisco

What Was I (I Mean The Groomer) Thinking

HA HA HA HA HA!!!

Yes, I realize none of those are witty.  Or funny.  Or anything less than stupid.

I landed on Forehead Flower which is purely descriptive and at the very least gets the point across – someone will have a flower on their forehead.  Unlike the San Francisco title which The Husband made up and had to explain to me because I didn’t get it at first.  Womp womp womp.

I don’t know that I need to say much more, rather letting the pictures speak for themselves.  I would quickly like to preface by saying our dog groomer Karen does an EXCELLENT job and we really like her.  Her choice in canine fashion accessories does, however, leave something to be desired.

Mono Flower 2 RW

Mono Flower RW

Mono Flower 6 RW

Mono Flower 3 RW

Mono Flower 4 RW

Mono Flower 5 RW

Why the MIDDLE of the forehead, Karen?  Why?  Why not just behind one ear?

– Joanna

Question of the Day: What’s your favorite hair accessory?  Father-in-Law, I’m especially interested in your answer to this question.

23 Paws.

Buttons_Final_lrg

Sometimes on the 23rd (ish) of the month I come at you with a humorous pet post.  So humorous I often find myself laughing so hard I cry.

My Pet’s Pet?  Come on.  A dog with a pet???  This is comedy gold people.  Comedy.  Gold.  Actually more like comedy platinum imbedded with a river of comedy titanium studded with flawless comedy diamonds the size of my fist and wrapped in Oreos.

What?  To The Husband Oreos are like gold.  Or platinum imbedded with titanium studded with diamonds.

All I am trying to say here is I’ve really enjoyed writing the pet posts for you all and I hope you’ve enjoyed reading them as much as I’ve enjoyed writing them.  And reading them.  I cannot tell a lie, I re-read them and laugh my arse off a lot.

This will be my last “official” 23 Paws post as Cinnamon who has been hosting for a year now has decided to retire 23 Paws and focus on other endeavors.  I can only assume she means to start 24 Paws but that remains to be seen.  What?  23 is an odd number of paws so 24 Paws must be next right?  Six whole pets is way better than five and three quarters pets.

Sad little pet missing its paw.

I promise to still share dog stories with you, but for Cinnamon’s final hurah I’d like to tell you how The Snoops got her name.

Snoops RW

The Snoops was born in a puppy mill so I imagine her first name was probably Puppy #108565658462937604. Stupid puppy mills.

She was rescued by an aspiring model who named her Ping Pong and then promptly dropped her off at her mothers house, a miniature dachshund breeder.

I bought her for fifty bucks from the breeder (I still have the cancelled check to prove it) and named her Mazzy.

Mazzy stuck for about a week before I changed her name to Koi.  Like the fish, but not like the fish.  Koi the fish is pronounced like “coy” while Koi the dog is pronounced like “ko-e.”  Officially The Snoops name is Koi.

My mom nicknamed her Ko Schmo which not only stuck but also was the catalyst for many other “Schmo” nicknames.  Hubby Schmo.  Wifey Schmo.  Should I go on or have I embarrassed myself enough?

About 7 years ago Ko Schmo was retired and replaced with The Snoops.  Why you ask?  Let me tell you.  Better yet, let me show you.

It has everything to do with a Peanuts cartoon I cut from the Sunday paper.  Take a look, scene by scene.

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This post is a public service announcement.

Midwestern Bite De-Skunk Recipe RW

I find Pinterest mildly annoying, so you’ll know I am serious when I make this request:

Please pin the above picture. Pin it and pin it good.  Pin it hard.  Pin it so it goes viral.  Pin it so all the world can be saved!  Saved from what you ask?  From a dog.  A skunky dog.

Midwestern Skunk Block RW

Ugh.  You heard me.  A skunky dog.

Midwestern Skunked Dog 1 RW

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Do you all know the band They Might Be Giants?  I love them.  I have a bunch of CD’s and have been to several concerts.  I have even strummed John’s guitar during one of those concerts.  If you do know They Might Be Giants, you may be wondering which John.  There are two.  That’s irrelevant to my point here and so I’m going to leave you hanging on that one.

Anyway, TMBG has a song called Minimum Wage.

Here it is in a random YouTube video.

Cool, huh?  And, believe it or not TOTALLY relevant to today’s post about Christmas and Dogs.

You see today is 23 Paws over at Cinnamon’s blog Eat Pray Tri.

Still not getting the connection?

That’s odd.

I guess I’ll explain.

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Hi Tuesday.  Welcome to the week, albeit a bit late.

I hope everyone had a chance to check out my submission to the 23 Paws party over the weekend.  Yup, still shamelessly promoting my post in which I prove to you The Snoops is a human.  For the record I think the virtual 23 Paws party is better than an actual 23 Paws Party.  For one, 23 is an odd number of paws which means there would be at least one sad little pooch.  For two, I’ve been to a dog’s birthday party before and, well, let’s just say The Snoops left an unwanted present in the corner of a basement.  We left early.  Sigh.  Can’t take the kiddos anywhere nice.

Some random things that are going on here in my Midwest.  We are still moving forward with the move forward.  Or sideways.  We are moving in more of an Easterly direction.  We are scheduled to get the keys to the new place in less than a week so let the packing and painting begin!

Fortunately the move lined up with a 40% off paint sale at Sherwin Williams so I dropped almost $300 on paint for four rooms yesterday.  I’m a paint snob – I admit it.  It’s Sherwin Williams for me or bust.  We are purchasing the home from an elderly couple who have lived there for the past 15 years so the house needs a spruce.

Sherwin Williams has this great online tool called the Color Visualizer that helps you choose colors for your home.  It’s kinda fabulous.  I love all things home repair and remodeling so I‘m planning to blog about the transformation.  Maybe I can be Sherwin Williams new poster child?  Or rather Sweetey Petey could be since I’m not a child.  The Snoops falls into that category since she acts like a child sometimes, at least at birthday parties.

Here is a sneak peak of what I’m planning for the master bedroom.

While this is is no way my future bedroom, this IS my bed and dresser (minus the mirror).  Crazy.

I adore accent walls so I’m going with a bright orange, Tango, for the wall behind the bed and Rhinestone, which is a very light but bright grey for all other walls.  I have curtains already purchased and a few photography prints I still need to purchase online from an artist I found at a craft fair earlier this month.

I’m excited and I hope you are too.  I know I lean more towards food satire here, but hey, it’s my blog and I can remodel if I want to.

While we are on the subject of food satire, I posted this gem on Sunday asking what it was and why was it wearing a hat?

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Hi everybody.  As a heads up, Cinnamon over at Eat Pray Tri has officially packed up and moved all of her belongings to California which means she is currently unemployed.  This is GREAT as it also means she is back to blogging and will be doing it way more.  Yay for quitting her job!  Yay!!

On that same note, 23 Paws is also back (it was never really gone) to connect virtual pets all over the blogosphere.  I always participate and this month is no different.  I did however, link an old post, er rather a back post, for this month’s 23 Paws.  Or 23 Back Paws as I just decided to call it.

I’m really proud of this post so if you would like a good laugh you can check it out on my blog here.  It’s also linked up on Cinnamon’s blog here.

As a spoiler, I may just prove to you my poodle, The Snoops, is a human being and NOT a dog.  Yeah, I do.  Pretty convincingly too.

If you would like to laugh further, you can read the post that first got me hooked on Cinnamon’s blog.  It’s about lip gloss addiction, which is a problem we both share.  We apparently also share trash cans, but that is less relevant and not quite as humorous.

That is all.  Enjoy the rest of your weekend.

Joanna

P.S.

Question of the Day: What is that?  Why is it wearing a hat?

22. August 2012 · 12 comments · Categories: 23 Paws · Tags:

It’s August 22nd around these Midwestern Parts.  Anyone else wondering where the month went?  I so should have made a summer bucket list just so I could say I kicked it.

Anyway, back to the date.  It’s the 22nd.  That means it’s time for 23 Paws.

Insert crickets happily chirping here.  Seriously, there are crickets outside, I can hear them through the open window.  It’s nice.  If only there were hear-a-vision on the internet.  Wait.  That’s a vlog.  Forget it, I’m not technologically savvy enough for that and I haven’t done my hair today so it’s out for sure.

So it’s the 22nd.  That means it’s time for 23 Paws.  Okay, okay, you got me.  23 Paws is on the 23rd.  Not the 22nd.  It’s not rocket science here people, I am just a day early.  Cut an animal lover a break will ya?

I’m not the only one that loves animals it seems.  Other bloggers seem to love animals too, especially on the 23rd of the month.  If I am a day early does that mean I love them more??

Turns out The Snoops loves animals too.  We’ve already talked about how she loves hamsters and mice, but did you know she loves pigs too?

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23. July 2012 · 32 comments · Categories: 23 Paws, Humor · Tags:

It’s July 23. Of 2012. So what? Oh, you don’t remember, do you? That’s okay, it’s pretty new and I’ve only participated once.

Dun dun duuuuuun.

It’s 23 Paws Time!!!

 

That means cute pictures of our pets, but better than that, a blog post I don’t have to think too hard about. It’s been awfully serious around these internet parts, what with that one serious post I wrote and all.

No worries, I’m back now in all my whimsy. Thanks Cinnamon for reminding us that blog pets need some virtual attention too, a mouse click behind the ear if you will.

Last month around this time I talked about how our poodle, The Snoops, had some pets. A hamster. A mouse. A complex to go along with them. So this month I’d like to focus on our Chocolate Lab. Her name is Sadie, but we affectionately call her The Destroyer.

Quite simply, I’d like to list the things she has destroyed over the years. I’ll try my best to get them in chronological order for ya. Any psychiatrists out there??? Maybe there’s a progression here.

Please note I am shy on the pictures of Sadie actually destroying things. She started destroying long before I started blogging and it’s particularly hard to photograph things clearly with your fist shaking angrily in the air. To compensate for the amount of nuts her destructive tendencies have driven me over the years, I’d like to intersperse the text with pictures of her as a puppy when she was too cute to yell at.

A face you can’t yell at.

Are ya ready kids . . .

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23. June 2012 · 18 comments · Categories: 23 Paws, Humor · Tags:

If you’ve been following along with me these past few months, you know I have a poodle named The Snoops. If you haven’t, well, you should first check out my all time favorite post The Poodle and the Haircut. In this post I provide convincing evidence that the poodle is a human rather than a dog and then proceed to embarrass her with pictures of her bad haircuts throughout the years. Yeah, I’m an awesome pet owner.

Did you go there? Did you laugh? Yes? No? In any case I find myself hilarious so let’s just move along.

What I failed to mention in that poodle centered post is that my pet has a pet. Had a pet. Pets actually. They’ve passed on (bless their fuzzy souls).

It all started one day, several years ago, when the Husband and I went to the pet store for dog food and came home with a little black and white hamster. The phone call to the Mother-In-Law (who had been begging for a grandchild) to announce a new addition to the family was easily worth the fifty bucks we spent on hamster gear.

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