I’ve had a request to talk about Miley Cyrus.  That’s right, someone (cough Ann cough) has REQUESTED a post from ME.  ME.

I’m clearly big-time.  You should all be thankful you knew me when.

Right then.

Miley Cyrus.

So here’s the thing . . . I don’t get all into the hype of the Oscar’s or the Tony’s or the AMA’s or the VMA’s or the POS’s.  Okay I made that last one up but it seemed appropriate at the time so let’s go with it.  Famous people just don’t do it for me.  I don’t care that they’re famous.  I don’t follow them relentlessly on social media or try to replicate the last outfit they were seen in on the cover of Cosmo or even buy Cosmo for that matter.

Except for maybe Jim Croce (who’s dead so it’s never gonna happen) I really don’t even have a desire to meet a famous person.

My Brother-in-Law recently invited me to a Sci-Fi Convention (it’s one of my geekier passions, let’s just breeze past it like I never even mentioned it) and after much debate I politely declined because I knew he’d want to get autographs. The thought of standing in line to meet an actor from Firefly felt akin to standing in a giant vat of water that slowly started to heat up.  At first it’s all cool, then you have a nagging building suspicion that something is not quite right till you’ve been there 45 minutes and your head suddenly explodes.  Clearly I’ve never been mistaken for a patient person.  And yes I swear it takes 45 freaking minutes to boil water on my 30 year old stove top.

My BIL is pretty cool though so it would have been nice to chat with him sans kiddos.  And since I’m a geek I wouldn’t have minded the experience one bit.  So mostly it was the line standing.

Now don’t get me wrong, I like music and TV and movies just like everybody else.

And I totally get that some of you love famous people.  Katrina at ‘Sota is Sexy always covers the big award shows (I probably wouldn’t even have known they were on if it wasn’t for her) and I love her posts and love that she gets so into them.

In fact, if it weren’t for Katrina’s post on Miley and the link to the controversial video she provided, I probably wouldn’t even have known why everybody was so Miley crazy.

Or that “twerking” is apparently now a thing.  I could have lived without that last knowledge by the way.

In case you are oblivious to famous people like I am, I’ll break it down for you.

The VMA’s.  I think that stands for Video Music Awards although I have no clue why because when was the last time you even saw a music video????

So Miley Cyrus came out of a giant teddy bear with creepy eyes (hey, at least it wasn’t a clown amiright) dressed in a skimpy teddy bear “teddy” (for lack of a better word) with ears over her boobs.  She later ripped it off to reveal a flesh colored two piece.  In the meantime she “twerked” around the stage rubbing a foam finger over various body parts and did a little side-tongue thing that made me think maybe she had gotten rabies from that bear she came out of.  There was also some booty (does Miley even have a booty???) shaking and a few somewhat inappropriate gestures towards an older man that supposedly was on Growing Pains or the son of somebody on Growing Pains or just there to help Miley through her growing pains.

Like I said, I don’t follow famous people.

Since then I have seen tweets and posts and articles linked on Facebook about saving Miley.

I haven’t read any of them.

Like I said, I don’t follow famous people.

Since I haven’t read the articles I don’t claim to know their content but based on titles I’m wondering if I’m the only one that doesn’t think Miley needs to be saved?

I’m not saying our culture hasn’t become more and more sexualized over the years, because it’s pretty obvious that it has.  And I’m not saying it wouldn’t be great to return to some more old fashioned morals.  Because it would.

What I am saying is Miley herself does not need to be saved.  Miley ALONE does not need to be saved.

Miley did not wake up the morning of the VMA’s and sew herself a teddy bear teddy.  She did not build a giant teddy bear an hour before she was to go on stage.  She did not dream of baseball games the night before the big day and dig her foam finger out of her closet and giddily race to the stage.  This skit (I tried to look at it comically so I’m using skit rather than performance here) was planned out and I guarantee you she did not plan it alone.  Miley’s a decent name.  She’s no Jim Croce, but still a big name in the biz.  She has publicists and wardrobe people and choreographers and a crapload of people she rehearsed with beforehand.  Oh and family that had to have known about this skit ahead of time as well.  If it was really a Miley is sick and needs help kinda situation don’t you think one or more of these people would have staged an intervention before the VMA’s?  Or the VMA’s themselves would have nixed the skit?

No.  Because this didn’t have anything to do with Miley needing to be saved.  This was just about attention and she got it.  Which I am pretty sure is what everyone wanted.  I highly doubt Miley wears that teddy bear teddy out to dinner.  Or that she keeps a foam finger next to her bed at night and fantasizes about 80’s television.  She’s hardly Lindsey Lohan in and out of rehab.  Teddy Twerker was a persona she adopted for this skit and I doubt she is a twerker at heart.  Her and a ton of people whose business it is to know the business decided to create some business and a little buzz.

Like I said, I don’t follow famous people so perhaps I’m not the best example here, but I can’t recall the last time I heard the name Miley Cyrus.  Until now.  Bravo, Miley Cyrus’s publicist,  Bravo.

So yeah, she’s not Hannah Montana.  Although Hannah Montana does seem like the type to like teddy bears.  This really isn’t even the worst thing a famous person has done to shed a stale image or create some publicity.  I’d name a few, but like I said, I don’t follow famous people.

If folks really want to “save” Miley so badly . . . just stop talking about her.  Seriously.  Don’t feed the hype.

Or get her some rabies meds.  One of the two.

– Joanna

P.S.  It’s cool if you have differing opinions than mine.  It’s cool if you present those opinions here or elsewhere.  This is pretty much all you’ll get from me on this topic however as I just don’t care enough to discuss it further.  Cool?

P.P.S.  On a sorta related note, The Husband is convinced I am obsessed with Hannah Montana.  Back in the days when we had cable he happened to walk in on me twice in a row and I happened to have been flipping channels and I happened to have literally just flipped onto Hannah Montana.  This is all coincidence and frankly purely circumstantial evidence.  Dear husband, if I freely albeit quickly admit to loving Sci-Fi wouldn’t I also admit to this?  So ENOUGH WITH THE HANNAH MONTANA WRAPPING PAPER!  Can we just get through one birthday without it?  That is all.

P.P.P.S.  Firefly really is a good show even if I don’t care enough to meet the cast.

P.P.P.P.S.  I did meet Walter Koenig and got his autograph once.  But I was young and better able to stand in line probably.

P.P.P.P.P.S  I thought about looking for a snapshot of Miley with her teddy bear for the top of this post, but quite honestly, I just didn’t care enough about this situation to put forth the effort.

Question of the Day:  How long would you stand in line for a famous person’s autograph?

 

 

4 Comments

  1. We just saw John Malcovich while we were camping – he was staying about 4 sites down from us, and you’d better believe I pretended I needed to visit the water tap to gawk at him. Empire of the Sun? Being John Malcovich? Awesome. But no autograph – he was on vacation, plus, what would I do, flaunt it at parties? Sniff it late at night? But to each his own.

    Miley is interesting to me because lots of bright, educated people have been going on about implications for women, black people, kids … and I bet it didn’t have that much meaning for her. So at least celebrities (the arts? Bit of a stretch in this case) can get us talking

  2. You love Hannah Montana so much.

  3. I stood in line at a cookbook release party to get my book (free with my ticket) signed by the author…also owner of a local ice cream chain…but I didn’t have to wait long, and it seemed worth it since I was there with the book…otherwise, not something I normally care about. 🙂

  4. I have to admit that I was watching the VMAs (because I’m a happening dude and that’s how I roll). When little Miley started twerking it just about broke my little achy breaky heart. Oh, and mother-in-law and I actually went to a Billy Ray concert back in the day. I wanted his autograph but the freaking line looked to be about forty-five minutes long and I thought “who does this guy think he is with his forty-five minute long line” so we booked.