23. July 2012 · 32 comments · Categories: 23 Paws, Humor · Tags:

It’s July 23. Of 2012. So what? Oh, you don’t remember, do you? That’s okay, it’s pretty new and I’ve only participated once.

Dun dun duuuuuun.

It’s 23 Paws Time!!!

 

That means cute pictures of our pets, but better than that, a blog post I don’t have to think too hard about. It’s been awfully serious around these internet parts, what with that one serious post I wrote and all.

No worries, I’m back now in all my whimsy. Thanks Cinnamon for reminding us that blog pets need some virtual attention too, a mouse click behind the ear if you will.

Last month around this time I talked about how our poodle, The Snoops, had some pets. A hamster. A mouse. A complex to go along with them. So this month I’d like to focus on our Chocolate Lab. Her name is Sadie, but we affectionately call her The Destroyer.

Quite simply, I’d like to list the things she has destroyed over the years. I’ll try my best to get them in chronological order for ya. Any psychiatrists out there??? Maybe there’s a progression here.

Please note I am shy on the pictures of Sadie actually destroying things. She started destroying long before I started blogging and it’s particularly hard to photograph things clearly with your fist shaking angrily in the air. To compensate for the amount of nuts her destructive tendencies have driven me over the years, I’d like to intersperse the text with pictures of her as a puppy when she was too cute to yell at.

A face you can’t yell at.

Are ya ready kids . . .

The bottom left corner of a hollow core door (she then managed to get through the door, but not through the opening she had made . . . instead by jumping and turning the doorknob.)

Carpet.

The collar off the Snoops. Yes, not just the Snoops’ collar, but she chewed it right off her fuzzy little neck. It was leather with studs. We got it back eventually, I will let you use your imagination as to how. I had to carry The Snoops into the pet store to get her a new one. I was less than pleased.

Brownie mix.

This was cage number one.

One each of four pairs of the Husband’s shoes. Not two of the same pair mind you, one of each. I can’t say for certain if it was the same one but as the dog is not right in the head I’d wager it was left shoes only.

A classic Tribe T-shirt the Husband had ordered through e-bay. He had yet to wear it.

Her dog bed. Then a wall. Then a chair. Then her cage. I had best explain. The Husband accidentally left a dog bed atop her cage one day. While we were at work she pulled the bed into the cage and chewed it into a million bits. Then she hopped the cage from one end of the room to the other, gouging the wall as she went. She chewed the end off a stuffed chair through the cage, then flipped the cage on its side and bent the top enough to bust out. That cage bit the dust.

Spongy poofs. Lots of spongy poofs. She’d hop in the shower and tear into them like a former vegetarian tears into a Wendy’s Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger.

Spongy poof, my dear departed friend. The first in a long line of spongy poof fatalities.

More shoes. Mine this time. Leather. Brand new. And oh so cute.

The trash, over and over and over again. Nothing like walking into your dining room and finding an entire garbage can’s contents strewn about. I eventually purchased a new impenetrable trash can that cost $90. The Husband was less amused with the price of the trash can than the trash on the ground.

The Husband’s Tribe baseball hat. This is how I knew I had a good man. He loved that hat. Loved, loved, loved that hat. Anybody else would have yelled. Screamed. Perhaps a smack on the hairy brown behind. Given her a doggy time out. Not my husband, he just calmly cleaned up the mess and did not say one word.

A rug while visiting the in-laws.

I doubt that bone lasted long.

A linoleum floor . . . about five days after we moved into our house. Took us five years to replace it.

Carpet again. This resulted in an $800 emergency surgery.

Couch. This did not result in surgery, but did result in me getting no sleep as she returned said couch to me every three hours like clockwork for several days. In both the carpet incident and the couch incident the Husband was conveniently traveling for work. At this point we bought a new cage.

This was in fact the couch she ate.  At least it was ugly.

Another dog bed.

A screen door.

My wrist, for about two weeks, when she yanked me down jogging. I jog solo nowadays.

My sanity. Yup, throwing it out there.

A rose bush. Yeah. That happened.

Just when you think she’s sleepy and turn your back is when she pounces.

Several of The Snoops’ plush toys. Fortunately my mom sews and she stitched them all back up nicely. Multiple times.

A pair of new gray comfy pants . . . ripped a hole in them the first time I wore them, while I was wearing them.

A crap ton of chocolate Halloween candy we had purchased for the neighborhood kids. She seemed to prefer the Snickers. This happened two days in a row as (despite zip ties and cinder blocks) she repeatedly escaped her cage.

A tarp we left under her cage to protect the floor. Silly us. She somehow managed to wrap the tarp bits around the cage bars. I am pretty sure she has opposable thumbs.

Ahhh, cage number two, you served us well.  Sorta.

The second cage finally bit the dust and we had to purchase a third one. This one we call Alcatraz. It cost more than a months worth of groceries but so far it’s kept her in.

If cage number three ever bites the dust, I will probably bite the dust too.

This is my life, ladies and gentlemen . . . my life.

It’s a good thing she’s cute.

Joanna

P.S. I reserve the right to add to this list.  It is possible I have blocked some things out over the years.

P.P.S. Click here for the rest of the 23 Paws posts.

Question of the Day: Has your pet destroyed anything? If nothing, wanna trade?

32 Comments

  1. Oscar has eaten a hat and a visor (among other things), but luckily big Wahoo has survived all these years. Maybe it’s because John keeps it up high and Oscar’s not all that tall. 😉

    Next time you should talk about how she likes to lick things, too, like toes. That dog loves my toes.

  2. Take one guess how Joanna feels about Sadie constantly trying to kiss the Pete…

  3. this is an adorable post! I can’t believe that cute face!

  4. Nothing to compare with your destruction, but my pug likes to eat the tops of water bottes. Like an entire 24 pack. And then play in the water he spills all over the floor. And toilet paper. He loves to grab the end and run with it. Then he eats as much as he can before you can get it off him (if you are actually home to catch him). Tin foil from the garbage. Resulted in an x-ray and antibiotics. Unknown black stuff in the park. Resulted in hours and hours of vomitting, followed by a few hours on an IV drip and antibiotics.

    One time my mom was visiting and we took her to my son’s baseball game. She left her over night bag on the couch. The dog chewed through it and got her prescription pills out. We just got home in the nick of time as he was chewing the lid off. Thankfully only resulted in a lesson well learned. Don’t leave ANYTHING within reach of the dog!

    • Wow. I think your pooch might be on par with ours. Ours has never gotten into the Rx, but she is on doggie happy pills and the Poodle accidentally got the wrong “peanut butter snack” one night. We had to take her to the emergency vet and they induced vomiting to get them out. Good times.

      • HA! the wrong peanut butter snack. ahhhh! good times indeed.

        • Unfortunately you can’t give one dog a snack without the other one getting upset. I blame the hubs for that mistake, but it might also have been The Snoops stealing Sadie’s snack from her. I cannot imagine what a 70 pound Lab dose would do to a 13 pound Poodle.

  5. Holy mackerel! I’d never believe such a cute little face would be capable of such heinous acts of chewery! Hope Alcatraz does the trick, good luck!

    • Alcatraz has been great . . . except when we first got it she refused to get in it. We had to pick her up and shove her in as she clawed at the door. This happened just after I gave birth and let me tell ya, it was not easy. My husband just informed me this was not the proper way to crate train a dog. We were a little pressed for time back then and just had to do what we had to do.

  6. She is so so sweet! I know that’s not fun to come home to everything she’s destroyed, but that face! I love her!

  7. Those puppy photos are so very precious! And I can’t believe the path of destruction that your dog is on…I have never before read about one dog doing so much damage…good luck finding your sanity! 😉

  8. Holy cow! She’s quite the crafty one. Love your comment about opposable thumbs. We had a dog that needed surgery twice after eating underwear. They’ll drive you to pull your hair out and then also love you more than they love themselves. We’ve also replaced all the carpet in our house because of doggy destruction over the years.

    • Yikes, all the carpet! I guess you could look at it as a good excuse to do a spruce. Hmmmmm…the gears are turning. We do need to buy a couch, so maybe if do a little damage and tell the Husband Sadie did it I’ll get it sooner rather than later 😉

  9. I come from a long line of farmers – on both sides of my family. I grew up on a farm
    (no electricity, one-room school, outhouse) the whole rustic scene. No one I knew
    had GASP animals in the house. (One of my ponies learned to open our back
    screen door with his teeth and take a step into the kitchen before mother would
    swat him back outside with a broom.) That was as close as I came to a house
    pet. My grandpa always said “you worked animals and then you ate them”. Has
    this reply been helpful in any way?

  10. Oh wow..umm…I’m lost for words…She is rightfully named! 🙂 BTW, you’re hilarious! I laughed from beginning to the end.
    For a girl with a name like that, she sure is ADORABLE!! I absolutely love that picture when she was caught red-handed with the bath sponge!! lol! I hope the third cage is here to stay..

    • Awwww thanks so much. I hope the new cage is here to stay too. She has dented the metal tag on the front pretty good, but so far the cage itself has suffered no damage. My guess is it’s not from lack of trying as she is always licking her paws when I let her out. Poor pooch.

  11. Guinness and his trash eating got nothin’ on Sadie. I am quite lucky in that department. I caught him beginning to chew a pair of shoes when he was like four months old and sternly yelled at him and gave him a tap on the nose and he has never touched a pair since. And none of them like carpet or couches or anything unless it’s to lay on them and sleep.
    Alcatraz is INTENSE. I did a double take. I think I would be scared to get in there too! She is so gosh darn cute though…I feel for ya. 🙂

    • I do think a lot of it is breed (although the separation anxiety compounds it all). I love dogs but we are done with Labs FOREVER. I am perfectly content with my tiny non-shedding poodle. Alcatraz is impenetrable. Maybe to be sure I should hire Nicholas Cage to test it out. Wow, that joke worked on two levels. Awesome.

  12. And I don’t think Guinn’s lack of chewing has anything to do with ME, its just not their nature….it IS in their nature however to rip every kleenex out of the box and shred them or shred every single page of the yellow pages…just to not eat shoes or couches. LOL.

  13. Awwww. Knock on wood, these pups haven’t eaten anything. My first dog (a lab/golden mix) could open the refrigerator and open containers. Post-Thanksgiving one year he ate a pie and all the fixings.

  14. Dave Milthaler

    A friend once told me what Lab stands for…its an abbreviation for Lacks A Brain. (no offence guys…we had one too!)

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